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Animal
One of my best toys ever was my Animal puppet, with velcro arms and legs, and a mouth and eyebrows that moved with your hand stuck in his back. He was the best part of the [Muppet Show], and I used to drum along with him, secretly wanting to break out of my invisible chains and run wild around the neighborhood. Fortunately it survived the garage fire, and is still intact, except for one pupil that scratched off - I redid it with a black marking pen, and you couldn't tell unless you looked closely.
Bouncy Balls
I grew up in bowling alleys, existing off of video games, french fries and vending machines. While my father was doing the lance dance, I would try to stretch my precious dollars as far as they would go, and when I could I would spare a few dimes for clear and opaque bouncy balls. Sometimes I just rolled and bounced them off of tables, chairs and walls, but a few times the spirit got to me, and bowling balls competed with my lost treasures, crazily jumping towards the pins.
Carrots
The biggest and best carrot I ever came across was raised by my own hands, along with a serious case of neglect. One planting season we harvested all of the roots except one, and so a few months later while I was sucking on backyard purple plums, scrounging in the dirt, I came across a stray, tall stalk. Digging and pulling, up came a monster as big as my wrist at the base. After washing in the garden hose, I danced around the lawn and kitchen, sucking and nibbling away on a little piece of heaven.
Dentists
I had all four of my wisdom teeth out on the same day, the summer when I turned 14. During the surgery, I woke up from the anesthesia to feel the crunch of my misplaced molars being broken and extracted. After the stitches came out, I flew with my father to Little Rock on my first airplane trip. It was hot, rainy with fireflies, and I picked out the food that got lodged in the gum-gaps with a sharp steak knife, when no one else was looking.
Everything
I love everything, even the dirt under your fingernails.
Fisher-Price
I always picked that round-headed dog, black and white with ears. I used to let him drive the little people cars, tend the farm and put out all of the fires. The little men and women weren't as exciting, but they tasted good, especially between snacks.
[Games] Magazine
The first subscription I ever asked for. When I was in 7th grade, I used to raid the school library at lunch time, digging in the magazine closet for the best issues. There also was this used magazine store in Richmond that had comic books as well as paperbacks. One time I could have bought that really cool [Iron Man and Sub Mariner] one-shot that's worth lots of money now, but I thought that $1 was way too much to pay. One of my 8th grade friends also read [Games], and brought a rebate check to school to show off, just because [Playboy] was the parent company. It goes without saying that both magazines suck now.
Hallway
I used to sleepwalk a lot before puberty hit, and one night I fell out of my bed and cut open my lip on a small storage box. As I stumbled to the bathroom to see if I really was bleeding, I tripped and fell in the hallway, right onto the heater grating in the floor. I didn't cry that much, and my father thought that the damage wasn't more than a Band Aid could cure. The next morning I went to Kaiser and got my first stitches - something went clean through my lip, and the scar still opens up when I shave too closely.
Ice
I used to walk around the block, sucking on huge ice cubes. Sometimes they would stick to the paper towel, but I just scraped the fragments off with my teeth.
Jail
When I was in college, right after the Rodney King verdict came down, but just before the riots, I ended up in a roving protest turned weird, walking down Highway 80 towards the Bay Bridge, poster held high. The cars were stopped in both directions, and it was way too hot for the heavy jacket I was carrying. I cut my hand on the center divider while trying to avoid the CHPs, and ended up sitting down on the incline just past the toll booths, as helicopters circled overhead. Everyone present was arrested and taken to Santa Rita in buses, and I stayed there for a few hours. I shaved my head for the first time the day after my father drove me home from jail, and everyone in Japanese class and at the bank freaked out. We were told to plead no contest, and eventually all they could do was charge us with jaywalking.
Kindergarten
I read [Hop on Pop] in front of my Kindergarten class, because no one else could. Everything else is a blur, except the blue, plastic, bathtub whale that I took to school for some reason. Plus being walked 3 blocks to Alvarado School by my mother, and running home to watch [Underdog] when lunch finally came. Oh yeah, and learning how to draw 5-pointed stars from another kid - still useful to this day.
Laughing
I've forgotten the funniest thing I ever heard, but I know it made me laugh until my stomach hurt, and my parents turned around from the front seats of the old, red and white Ford Fairlane, just to shut me up. Car trips with Demond were fun.
Marbles
My mother has a dark blue cloth bag full of marbles, that I used to explore for hours when I was all hair and no height. Big and small, new mixed with ancient, they were passed down from grandmother to mother to son. I used to play with them in the kitchen on the linoleum, and when one rolled under the stove, I would dream for longer fingers.
Nightmares
When I was young my only reoccurring nightmare involved running from the backyard most every night, hiding behind my green/blue upholstered chair in the living room. A humongous, mouthless and eyeless shaggy brown beast on two legs would come from outside - rumbling the sliding glass doors in its haste - and quickly pounce, reaching past the old newspapers and well into the morning, heart pounding and blankets strewn. One night I didn't hide behind the chair at all, and instead sat on top of it, waiting comfortably for the inescapable. It hasn't come back since.
Old
I'm looking forward to get old. Then I can slow down and not feel funny about it.
Pants
Toughskins and Levis, all the time. Then there were plastic parachute pants, and I remember in 8th grade English class when I had my first orgasm, totally inexplicably and without proper warning. Everything was so warm, and I could feel the tingle slip down my legs. I really doubt anyone else noticed, but it seemed like everyone knew.
Quiet
I wish. Go back in time and tell that to my parents.
Rain
I used to stand on fire hydrants, as the water rushed into the drain. Yellow coat and hat, black boots, and umbrella left in the living room closet.
Socks
All of mine have holes, big and small. My feet are too big for the sock companies, but at this point my toes couldn't give a damn. In the 11th grade, Cathy gave me some white ones with puffy glitter writing on them: "Nick's Holistic Detective Socks." I loved her all the more, and only wore them once. My only intact pair.
Trains
Tilden Park has little ones, but I imagined them big, circling the bushy hills. My first real train ride was from Santa Cruz after visiting Molly in 1992, just after the second issue of Junk Magnet came out. I liked the way that they gave you free magazines to read in the seat pockets, just like airplanes.
Underoos
Geeky, but I didn't give a fuck. I was Spiderman; I was Boba Fett.
Vacancy
The motels all around Richmond and El Cerrito never seemed fully occupied, and I can't remember anyone that I knew staying in them. They tore down the Exxon station for one, and there used to be a cute girl that sometimes flirted with me, living in the office of the place across from Safeway, by the adult bookstore.
Wards
My first word read and spoken, driving past the sign visible from the freeway. A lot of things I have came from there.
X-Ray
I always give my film to the attendant at the airport, so my film won't get all messed up. I guess it's just like at the dentist, but how come they don't wear lead bibs?
Yoda
[The Empire Strikes Back] is my favorite movie of the series, although not for the usual reasons. I vividly remember going to Burger King to not only collect all of the commemorative glasses, but also the stickers, which I lovingly placed in the provided albums. I even had official movie bedsheets, and besides the typical Boba Fett lust, I remember having a certain attraction to Yoda. My friend Gabe used to do his voice perfectly, and when I played backwards games with Minna in the 3rd grade, the funniest thing I could come up with was "adoy". The action figure was cool, too, but I kept losing his walking stick in the yellow-brown shag carpet, along with all the raisins.
Zebras
One of my favorite paintings that my mother made was of a few zebras, looking out towards the real world from a fantastic, lush plain. The trees are smooth yet strong, and the sky is blue with her trademark white dots. It still hangs in the kitchen, but for the life of me I can't remember if the closest zebra is facing to the left, or the right. The only thing I can recall in my mind's eye is laying under it on the wicker covered wooden bench, reading comic books on Sunday mornings.
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